The Benefits of Letting Children Solve Their Own Arguments

Problem solving is part of life. Many parents, though, loathe to see their children in confrontational situations. Is stepping in helpful, or is it better to step back and allow them to solve their own arguments?

When a child is given space to solve her own problems, she has the opportunity to uncover and question her own beliefs and thoughts. If parents swoop in and decide on what is right or wrong in a given situation, the child is denied the opportunity to decide what’s important for her.

Solving a child’s argument can create a needy relationship. If an adult intervenes in an argument, a child might always rely on that adult for back up. Independence is developed when a child understands that he has to find his own resolution in order to move on from the situation.

Solving their own problems and arguments prepares children for life as a teenager and as an adult. Effective communication is a life skill that is developed from those early years with buddies in the sandbox who won’t share, to conflicts in the office with co-workers. Do your child a favor and allow her to find a way to get her ideas across in a clear, effective manner.

When a child is left to fight his own argument, he is given an opportunity to witness his own voice and personal power. Confidence and self-esteem flourish in situations where a child is tested, perhaps make mistakes, but then pulls through. These situations are powerful learning experiences. Fighting your child’s battles denies them practice for the skills we ultimately want them to have.

Supporting a child by allowing her to solve her own arguments, provides the perfect arena for healthy growth and development. When she can effectively convey her ideas and beliefs to another person or group of people, the parents can rest assured that letting her fight her own battles as a child was good practice.