When happy holidays become horrible headaches, something needs to give. A simple solution is to tweak a tradition, using one of these “tradition makeover” ideas.
Select a Substitute
The Brakel family found an inventive way to display their Christmas ornaments when an out-of-town trip made their tradition of having a live tree impractical. Bruce Brakel and his daughters created a conical shape out of ribbons anchored to a spot on the ceiling, and weighted them down with bricks covered in wrapping paper, like gifts. Then they hung their ornaments along the strands of ribbon.
When considering a substitute, Brakel suggests thinking about which aspects of the old observance can be preserved.
“Take baby steps,” says Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor Grant Stenzel. “Ease into it instead of being black and white; all or nothing.”
Go Radical – This Once
Some years can be harder than others to keep up traditions – whether due to a move, a death in the family, or multiple challenges piling up. In those instances it may be best to forgo a tradition to remain sane.
But it doesn’t mean that will be easy. Traditions can feel sacred. After all, as Stenzel says, “Traditions are harder because we have such emotions tied to them – not just current, but emotions from our childhood.”
To make it more acceptable, reassure everyone you can always bring the tradition back next year. Then consider what benefits you will gain by scaling back.
Tag-Team It
If one person is responsible for keeping the traditions going, but is overwhelmed, it might be time to enlist help for them. Evaluate which tradition-making tasks can be passed on. Can you trust an older child to put up decorations? Would the other spouse be willing to take over addressing cards?
As Catherine McNeil found out, buying holiday foods at the store instead of making them herself did not detract from her children’s experience of the holidays. “They don’t know or care whether I bought or made the Chex Mix,” she says.
Ultimately, recognize that perfection is unattainable and sanity is preferable. Do what you can. Let the rest go.
Written by Lara Krupicka
