Every tween and teen encounters peer pressure, but in an age where social media and texting provide constant connectedness with their friends, the challenge is amplified. How can you make sure that the desire to fit in or the need for approval doesn’t cause your child to engage in risky behavior? What can you do to enable him or her to make good choices around friends?
First, remember that as a parent, you still have influence in your adolescent’s life – as much as he or she may lead you to believe otherwise. In fact, studies have found that authoritative parenting – where parents provide warm nurturing alongside clear boundaries and discipline – yields more independent-minded children who are better able to stand up for themselves.
To build a buffer for your child from the negatives of peer pressure, you may want to:
- Keep the lines of communication open. Appreciate your child for who he is and acknowledge the good choices he makes.
- Affirm independent thinking at home. Allowing your child to disagree with you prepares her to disagree with others. On the other hand, shutting down her opinions could set her up for accepting that same treatment from her peers. Learning how to respectfully disagree is a social skill that will serve her well in all of life.
- Role play. You know the types of situations you’re afraid your teen may face where he could be in a tough spot. Work with him on how he will respond, even as far as having specific phrasing in mind.
- Set boundaries for social media and cell phones. Many problems occur late at night when teens are isolated in their rooms. Setting the expectation that screens will be turned off by a certain hour, and devices will be kept outside of teens’ bedrooms, gives kids not only a better night’s sleep, but also a respite from peer input.
Spending more time around those their own age and exerting independence, are necessary for adolescent development. And not all peer pressure is bad. But teens still need Mom and Dad to be there for them.
Written by Lara Krupicka
