The desire to learn and the motivation to work hard in school are qualities we want our children to posses. How do we teach them?
Q: I have a 7-year-old son and I’m very frustrated with his lack of desire to learn or do anything associated with schoolwork, reading, etc. Is there any way to instill a desire to learn or at least take pride in his schoolwork, writing, etc.? I was very good in school and I liked learning so I have a hard time understanding his total disdain for it.
A: We want our children to have a “natural love” of learning and motivation to strive for meaningful goals. It is important to step back and take a fresh look at your son’s attitude towards his desire or lack of when it comes to his schoolwork. The first step is to make sure he doesn’t sense your frustration. Then it is crucial to rule out any “unique learning styles” like ADD or dyslexia. Make sure there are no “school anxieties” such as problems with bullies or friendship development to rule away outside stresses. If you conclude it is strictly motivational, here are a few suggestions.
Share with him learning situations outside the scope of school. If he can develop a love of learning in general this will translate to school as well. Make plans for activities like plays, space camps, museum trips, and experiential and exciting events. If he becomes engaged in a certain topic, follow through with a trip to the library or bookstore. Help him discover pertinent information about the topics he finds interesting. For example, if after visiting an exhibit on Hawaii’s native fish, and your son seems interested this would be a good time to look for videos and books on fish. Research books on tape, to take away the work behind reading, and look for higher levels, which will help build his vocabulary skills. Now the learning becomes meaningful to your son. Perhaps with your help he could make a poster presentation and ask the teacher if he could share at “show and tell”. Remember, the more confident he becomes in his accomplishments, the more enthusiasm he will develop towards learning. At his age, motivation will develop from the pleasures he experiences and will inspire him towards the learning process.
Parents are still a motivating factor. It’s up to you to recognize his learning style. Is he a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner? He may need to move while learning, whereas others are able to sit and listen intently. Remember too his motivational needs will change, as he grows older. Ultimately, he needs to see the connections and understand the content, then the motivation will be very important to your son and hopefully it will come naturally to him.
