All kids can have fears and they may change over time according to your child’s development and life events. Children tend to internalize their fears so it is helpful to have strategies to help your kids talk about and process their worries:
- Cultivate your attachment to your child by being attuned to your child’s signals and spending robust one-to-one time with your child across the week—you then become “safe” for your child to verbalize a wide range of feelings including worries
- Create a culture that home is a safe place for all feelings—express a range of your own emotions during daily events as a model for your child
- Build your child’s emotional vocabulary through fun ‘feelings games’ that match your child’s age
- If your child is prone to worries, try to have them do robust physical activity daily as this allows them to physiologically discharge worries from their day
- For elementary-aged kids, promote imaginative play as a natural venue for kids to play out the internal feelings they are grappling with
- Do daily check-ins about what went well in the day and what was “tricky”
- When your child expresses a worry, respond with interest “Oh, I want to hear more about that.”
- Validate your child’s worry “Hmm, that sounds tricky”
- Use an “I wonder” statement to enroll your child in problem-solving “Hmmm, I wonder what we could do about this?”
- Draw pictures and role-play possible solutions together
- Cultivate a “Cozy Space” at home that is designed by you and your child that is comforting and soothing and sets the tone for relaxation and safety
- There are many picture books for different ages of kids that address the topic of worries that you and your child can read together in their cozy space.
- Co-create a visual “menu” of soothing/calming activities with your child including snuggling with their favorite stuffie, playing with favorite quiet toys, reading a favorite book, snuggling with you, listening to music, looking at a family photo album, etc.
If your child is experiencing stressful life events such as family separation, frequent moves, bullying, performance anxiety, a traumatic experience, abuse, or persistent worries or sadness, please contact a licensed mental health professional experienced in working with children to help give you and your child specific supports.
Kiegan Blake is an Occupational Therapist, Behavior Specialist, and Director of Maui Center for Child Development. For more information, please call 808-873-7700 or MauiChildDevelopment.com.
