A new addition to the family can be an exciting but challenging time for older siblings. The more we prepare them for what to expect, the better we can manage the range of emotions and reactions they may experience. Being honest and including your child as much as possible in the process will help your child feel safe and confident about what changes may occur.
When you are pregnant, answer questions with age-appropriate answers. It is recommended to share the news with children once the baby starts to show. If you are experiencing things like morning sickness or changes your children may recognize, it may be better to share the news earlier to avoid anxiety or fear about what is happening. Use your instincts to know what is best for your family.
Although it is natural to emphasize the positives that come with a new addition to the family, be realistic with your children. Be as specific as is appropriate for your child. You may share the work involved with caring for a baby, such as changing diapers and feeding them or how much attention they need to stay safe.
Involving your children in the preparations for the baby also helps them feel a part of the changes. They can help shop and decorate for the nursery, or help come up with ideas for naming the baby.
When the baby does arrive, pay attention to your other childrenʻs needs. Set aside time to spend with them alone and ensure that rituals that are important to them, such as reading a book together before bed, continue even after the baby arrives.
Be prepared for your children to regress in behaviors or act out. This is a natural and common reaction. Toilet-trained children may start asking for a diaper or having accidents. Older children are driven by fairness and equality, and some may see a baby receiving favoritism. The more they are involved and their feelings are recognized, the more they will adapt to the changes and joys that come with a new sibling.
