Aloha mama, my name is Haley, and I am currently in my sixth pregnancy. I have had the privilege of carrying five times before, experiencing two miscarriages and birthing three beautiful, healthy, and vibrant babies. I have also had the privilege and honor of witnessing dozens of births, ranging from free births, home births, and transfers, to unmedicated and medicated hospital births, each experience unique and different from the others. The reality is, there is no right or wrong; it is simply our journey. As our pregnant bellies grow, trusting in our bodies’ wisdom to know exactly what to do can also develop.
During your birth journey, it takes immense courage to surrender your thoughts, ideas, stories, and beliefs about what pregnancy and birth should look like. When we courageously do that, we can truly embrace the experience as our own. It is okay to feel insecure about your changing body, to lack connection to your growing baby, or to feel terrified of birth; it is all okay. The more you accept the intrusive thoughts, the more you can trust in the process. Acceptance is duality, allowing the dark and light to coexist even when it feels uncomfortable.
In our society, we are often told who, what, how, and why about our pregnancy and birth, but no one emphasizes how it is completely and individually our own. The advice we receive is meant to support our journey, but it often hinders us from trusting our bodies’ innate wisdom. Our bodies know exactly what to do and how to do it. Lean into the miraculous process from pregnancy to motherhood. Through my experiences,I learned I cannot choose the outcome or decide what birth will look like. The only control I have lies in what I eat, what I think, and what advice I choose to follow, whether from a friend, a family member, a book, or a social media post.
Trusting our pregnancy means we learn to trust ourselves. The more we quiet our minds, the more we can listen to our bodies. By intentionally listening, we can discern between doubts clouding our judgment and our own mother’s intuition. Learning to trust in our pregnancy slowly builds the confidence necessary when stepping into motherhood. Your child is uniquely designed by and for you, and no one else in the world is like them, just as your pregnancy is unlike anyone else’s.
