When you’re caring for someone else, it’s easy to put yourself at the bottom of the list. Between appointments, medications, meals, and daily tasks, there never seems to be enough time. But your health matters too. You can’t care for someone else if you’re running on empty. Taking care of your loved one also means taking care of you.
Check in on your own health
Caregivers are more likely to have health problems themselves—often because they skip their own checkups or screenings. But staying healthy helps you stay strong for the person who depends on you.
Schedule a checkup with your doctor, and make sure you’re up to date on vaccines and preventive care. Manage any chronic conditions you have, including issues that affect your quality of life, like back pain, arthritis, or headaches. Even small changes that reduce fatigue or pain can make a big difference in your mood and energy.
Know when to ask for help
Caring for another person can take a toll—physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you’re feeling irritable, anxious, foggy, or worn down, it may be a sign you’re approaching burnout.
Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed to get support. Many people want to help but may not know how. Keep a short list of things others can do—like picking up groceries, running errands, or spending time with your loved one so you can rest. Accepting help isn’t selfish; it helps everyone stay connected.
Find support
You don’t have to do this alone. Ask your loved one’s healthcare team about resources like social workers, case managers, and support groups. If there’s a nonprofit connected to your loved one’s condition, reach out—they often offer programs for caregivers.
You can also look into palliative care. It’s not hospice—it’s medical care focused on improving quality of life for people with serious illnesses. It can help manage symptoms and provide emotional and practical support.
Take care of you
Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy. Even ten minutes to stretch, take deep breaths, or read a few pages can help you reset. Get outside, move your body, eat well, stay hydrated, and get enough sleep. If you’re struggling, consider joining a support group or talking with a counselor.
Give yourself grace
Being a caregiver is hard work. You’re doing your best—and that’s enough. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s an act of love that supports both you and your loved one.
To learn more about caring for yourself while caring for others, visit mauihealth.org/caregivers. You’ll find helpful tools, education, and connections designed to support you every step of the caregiving journey.
Dr. Chad Farmer, Maui Memorial Medical Center Palliative Care Program Director and Hospice Maui Medical Director
