Are you a people pleaser? Do you find it hard to say “no”? Seeking approval from others by always saying “yes” is not uncommon. We all want to be surrounded by happy people. But if you are always accommodating other people while putting yourself aside, you may be suffering from the disease to please. With a little effort, though, this need can be released and replaced with healthier behavior.
Perhaps it’s second nature for you to please other people, and you may not even realize it. This character trait or way of being in the world may be deeply rooted. Awareness is the first step towards finding a cure for the disease to please.
Once you’ve admitted it, and of course forgiven yourself, get clear on boundaries. Decide what you can and cannot do given your time and energy level within a day. This requires an honest conversation with yourself.
Learn to become comfortable saying “no” when you are asked to do something beyond your means. First, try responding with a kind but firm “no.” If this is difficult for you, try saying “no” and then tell the other person your reasons. Over time, when you have had enough practice saying “no” when you mean it, you’ll reach the point where you won’t feel the need to give your reasons anymore.
The ability to comfortably say “no” to people comes from the realization that it’s impossible to please everybody all the time. And trying to accomplish this impossible task can leave you feeling depleted, stressed, and even sick.
Being honest with people is empowering. Not only does your self-respect start to climb, but other people’s respect for you also takes a big leap.
When you start saying “no” to people, you can start saying “yes” to yourself. While you can’t control others, you can control how you decide to spend your time. Once you recognize the importance of honoring your own truth, it becomes easier to align with what is truly in your best interest.