Fall is often a time of new beginnings and transitions. For parents of school age children the return to the school time routine is a mixed blessing. Kids who were able to have unstructured time are now having to wake up early be organized and ready to learn. Parents now have to juggle schedules, after school activities, homework and new relationships.
As our children progress in school we, as parents have to deal with not only hormones; but also our child’s expressed desire to not have us around. It is constantly a reminder of the short time our children really need us. Summer break reminds us of just how much we wish our children didn’t need us. Then they’re back at school, making friends, no longer wanting us to walk them to class or even be seen at all.
As a family therapist I see the pain on families faces when they are struggling with a particular developmental transition. As a mom I understand the desire to want my kids to “go back to school already”, while at the same time crying my eyes out on the first day of school. I often tell clients of teenagers that if your children are rebelling then you know you are doing a good job. Kids have to learn how to navigate the world to develop confidence and competence. Sometimes we have to fake it until we make it, acting excited for their new found independence so they can see we are okay with it.
If our children know we will always be there for them, even when they fail they will become healthy adults. It’s when our own fears of them growing up and leaving us get the best of us that we have to turn to family and friends for support.
