Everyday our children leave the comfort of their homes and head out into that big world out there. They leave home with everything needed for the day, like completed homework, lunches, and the attitude I can do this, even though obstacles will probably get in their way. What if so and so doesn’t talk to me? What if I don’t make the team? Will I pass the test? Am I dressed cool and trendy? Even children at very young ages may feel the weight of peer pressure and bullies. Just what can we as parents and teachers do to ensure our children approach the world with confidence?
First things first! Exactly what is self-confidence and why is it important for our children to have it? Having confidence in oneself is similar to having a positive self-esteem. It is how we view (esteem) ourselves. Do we see ourselves as lovable and capable? If our children are taught to value and respect their uniqueness, then most everything should fall into place, including schoolwork and relationships. It is a feeling of being satisfied about their self worth. They become healthy, confident, and ready to tackle that world out there with enthusiasm and gusto!
Parents become the child’s first teacher and will influence how they interact with others. Teachers also play a gigantic role in making sure children approach life with confidence. Here are some tips to guarantee their sense of worth will happen in an affirmative way.
Praise
Praise is important, it is true, but can praise be overdone? Children know when a compliment comes sincerely. When a child performs in a situation that requires praise, explain how they have done well. If they are unhappy with their performance, try not to address it only with praise. Perhaps look for an aspect worth praising, and make sure to acknowledge their feelings and how they can improve if they need to, in order to feel well about their tasks. Some say that the best praise for children, is praising their own judgment. Tell them why they made a good decision and when they have a great idea.
Setting Realistic Goals
Not all children can do everything. The beauty of ourselves as members of the human society is that we all have different talents and gifts to share. If we learn to set realistic goals for our children, and ourselves, we will role model to them, how to determine, what we are good at. Sometimes it is in our failures (and successes) that we truly learn what we can excel at. Same with kids! The goal here is to appreciate what contributions they as children can share. We need to help them recognize their unique abilities and talents and reinforce and nurture so they too will see, accept and appreciate their special talents. This is how we build self esteem.
Listening
Children need to be listened to. That is, with an ear that is truly hearing them. Teachers and parents need to make eye contact and tune in to them to make sure we’re hearing exactly what they are saying. We need to listen for hidden messages or needs. (Time for a compliment?) We need to clarify or mirror what they’re saying so they know they are being heard correctly. Then if it is something that needs to be resolved, make sure they are actively involved in the solutions. This goes a long way in building confidence.
Encouragement
Parents and teachers need to help kids develop the skills to think in positive ways and redirect inaccurate negative beliefs children may have about themselves. We need to help kids be aware of their own self-talk and the importance of monitoring and distinguishing the differences. Remind them to practice positive self-talk. Something as simple as this can help ensure good self-esteem. Children go through many stages of self-doubt. Sharing experiences at the end of each day as well as talking through problems is an excellent way to build confidence.
Humor
Laugh! Through it all we can model a good sense of humor. We can show children it’s healthy to see humor in life by laughing at ourselves. Our sense of humor is important for their well being. Laughter can be contagious as well. Confidence will grow and feelings of social acceptance, competency, and successes will follow.
